Posted by: happyjoel | July 6, 2009

Quizno’s Entry for $10,000

A couple days/weeks ago I alluded to an entry for a contest that I was working very hard on, involving trips to Chicago, Atlanta, New York, etc. The entry is finally finished and up, and it’s for the Quizno’s $10,000 prize. So before I go on, I totally need your votes and help.

Help Joel win $10,000 from Quizno’s

I think it allows a vote every day, so bookmark it and vote with your morning coffee each day, please!

Anyway, to discuss the video now that I’m sure you’ve seen it, I thought the sub reminded me of a tall building, and I thought it would be cool to do a song where I hold it in front of a lot of tall buildings and it dwarfs them. I originally thought “the ten tallest buildings in the world,” but some of them are shitty (like the one in Dubai that’s totally not finished) and it would also have cost about $15,000 to get to them all (I priced it out.)

Instead, I opted for this tour of the great American skyscrapers, accompanied by my weirdest and most David Byrne song yet. I hope you like it. And more importantly, I hope you vote for it so much the song is stuck in your head for the next year.

(Copy and paste this link to email to friends)

http://promo.toastytorpedo.com//videos.aspx?ucid=3481a711-fb40-4288-b46e-e6ca9635fb89

And in case you’re curious, here’s a list of the top ten in order:

1) Sears Tower (recently renamed Willis, but who the hell knows that?)

2) Trump International Hotel and Tower

3) Empire State Building

4) Bank of America Tower

5) Aon Center

6) John Hancock Center

7) (tie) Chrysler Building

7) (tie) NY Times Building

9) Bank of America Plaza

10) US Bank Building

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Posted by: happyjoel | July 5, 2009

New Sandcastle – NOW WITH TUNNEL!!!

Check this out, multiple towers, turrets, doorways, and even a tunnel that runs all the way from one side to the other without collapsing. I feel like I’m making serious progress in the world of sandcastle building.

To help out in the future, I bought a new book on sandcastle building from Powell’s online store, which should arrive in a few days and kick my sandcastle abuildingty up to a new level.

In the meantime, though, pretty solid work, Joel. Keep it up. Seriously.

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Posted by: happyjoel | June 28, 2009

Murphy Goode Announces 50 non-Joel finalists

Murphy-Goode announced their 50 finalists and I am sorry to say that I was not one of them. I watched a bunch of them, I think I legitimately deserved to be in the top 50, but there are some pretty solid entries. I like this dudes because he got the governor of Texas to promote him.

The bad news is that I won’t get a chance to compete for the job, but since I’m engaged to be wed in a matter of weeks/months, heading off to Napa for 6 months probably shouldn’t have been in the cards anyway. 

In the meantime, I just got back from a weekend of filming in Atlanta and New York City for an entry to be named later, and just started the editing process of putting it together.

Also, my wallet is gone so I had to cancel all my credit cards and stuff. If you happen to find it in Los Angeles, New York, Atlanta or somewhere else, please let me know.

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Posted by: happyjoel | June 27, 2009

Sunset on the Highline with my Family

So there was this elevated train track on the west side of new york. And it went out of commission. And then it started to go to seed. And then the city (or someone) decided to turn it all into a park. And now it is like the awesomest thing I have ever seen in all of new york city. It is called “The Highline.”

It’s beautiful, well designed, and you can walk along like we did as the sun is setting over the water to the west, glimmering off the buildings, and you can see a ton from the elevated vantage point. It’s awesome.

So because I came to New York to film for about 2 hours yesterday for a contest (which I am not naming until I enter) I got to spend time with my brother and sister-in-law. Also, I haven’t shaved in a few days. I think I’m letting my face go to seed, inspired by the train tracks.

Now I’m going to the airport and flying back to Los Angeles. Hurrah.

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Posted by: happyjoel | June 24, 2009

Me and My Bride to Be

This is a fake Time Magazine cover taken from a cheap and tawdry Turkish restaurant fake cultural experience in Istanbul. Obviously, when we were given the opportunity to pay 40 dollars to dress like the sultan and sultan’s wife, we quickly said yes.

Last night I proposed to her. She said yes. Then she proposed to me. I said yes. Now I’m engaged.

The wedding is going to look something like this picture, but slightly more over the top.

We aren’t registered anywhere, but we’re thinking (I’m thinking) eBay. Either way, I’ll let you know for when you want to buy us used jeans or first edition winnie the pooh’s.

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Posted by: happyjoel | June 23, 2009

Lost Kikkoman

Just found out I didn’t win in the “Kikkin it with Kikkoman” video, which means this painful eye burning was mostly for nothing. 

Well, mostly for nothing other than learning that bathing in soy sauce is AWESOME!

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Posted by: happyjoel | June 18, 2009

Organix South Video Contest Prize Package

This is what I won from Organix South for my “I Love Neem” video, in addition to the check for grand prize.

A bunch of awesome products to be sure, but there is one that came in the box that particularly caught my eye – it’s the one I put in the middle (next to the card) – it’s for male vitality.

(Rodney Dangerfield time – )
I could not be more excited about that little box.
Literally – if my body was any more excited right now, I’d (something something something.)

Listen, it’s been a long day and I don’t have it in me to come up with punchlines all the damn time. Feel free to come up with your own punchline to that and email it to me.

Either way, I’ll let you know how the pills work. If the neem pills do what it sounds like it can do, I am sure I will be writing a song about it and including it in my stand up act.

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Posted by: happyjoel | June 18, 2009

My Adam Sandler Plan


Adam Sandler

Originally uploaded by Confess, Fletch

So I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but I hired an online personal assistant a few weeks back to do stuff. It’s not like I’m so busy, I just thought it would be funny.

His name is Prathap and he’s done some great work so far. (He saved me $1300 on a mattress!) but mostly I use him for silly things. I had him call my girlfriend just to tell her she looked “nice in that dress.” I had him call my parents and some friends and say:
“Joel cares about you but is too busy to call, so he’s asked me to call and find out what you are up to so I can give him an abbreviated report on your life.” That was awesome.

Well this month I decided to aim big – I told him I want him to get me a lunch meeting with Adam Sandler to discuss his company producing my screenplay.

The thing is, I have no idea how that would happen or what would need to happen for him to even get in TOUCH with Adam Sandler and his people, but I decided the whole reason I got a personal assistant (online) is so I don’t have to think about that kind of stuff.

I also told him to get me a phone meeting with Roseanne Barr to talk to her about doing a voice in an animation, but I feel like if he can get me a lunch with Adam Sandler (which I will be buying if you are reading this, Mr. Sandler) than Roseanne should be no problem.

He actually had to run it by his managers and assemble a special team to do research on me first so they have something to talk about when they try to make the phone call, which was hilarious and awesome. Next monday is the first “practice” call, where they call me and pretend I’m Adam Sandler and I give them pointers about how the call went.

I’ll let you know how it goes…

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Posted in Musings, comedy | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by: happyjoel | June 17, 2009

Creating a New Metal Band

I decided that winning a lot of contests and having some sense of financial stability and some free time is allowing me to finally pursue my dream of creating the ultimate Heavy Metal band with me as a front man. I have assembled the band and today is our first practice.

I am particularly excited that I won’t have to be playing an instrument unless I want to, so I will be free to dance around stage like I’d like.

Also, I AM ANNOUNCING A CONTEST
I am opening the door to anyone and everyone to come up with the new name for our heavy metal band. I am not promising I will use a selection, but if I DO use your suggested name, you will receive a $50 iTunes gift card and you will be mentioned in the rockumentary that I’m sure will be made about our band in the next decade or so.

Good luck.

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Posted in Contests, Music Comedy | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by: happyjoel | June 14, 2009

First Ever Sandcastle

I fuckin’ TOLD you I was going to start making sandcastles with that stuff I bought!

THIS IS MY FIRST ONE! I’m so proud but I didn’t get the moat (which wasn’t very good) in the shot too well. I did, however, put windows and doors on the Arabian inspired centerpiece of castle which I made.

There is a contest that I am not going to enter which is contest related. Actually, I may enter it, but we’ll see. Anyway, if any of you reading this are contesters and like sandcastles, google search “panama city beach” and “video contest” and you should find it. I don’t really want to win a trip to Panama City Beach because I would frankly rather hang out on my own beach here in LA, but good luck and drop a link to your entries if you make them.

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Posted in sandcastles

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