So this year, my buddy Zach Sherwin (AKA MC Mr. Napkins) were given a gig to put together a little song about the history of mustaches. As is our way, Zach tackled the lyrics (and crushed it) and I tackled the music. Then the Movember people put together a video of epic mustache proportions.

Click the picture to see the video

Makes me wish we had the budget to hire dancers and warehouses for all the collaborations we do.

Anyway, I thought it would be a good opportunity for me to revisit my favorite videos of all time, most of which didn’t win doodley.

First, the aforementioned Infant Accountant

The hard-rocking a capella anthem of Linux, the video that gets by far the nerdiest youtube comments of all:

This lovely costume inspired piece about Slydial – the service that allows you to dial straight to someone’s voicemail:

The silliest concept ever for a contest was when the organization “Psoriasis Cure Now” issued their call – for comedy videos. It took forever to figure out any way to approach that concept with comedy, but finally I came up with the idea of a metal song that just reads their actual rule pages about how painful psoriasis can be. As a penguin:

And to round out the top five, here’s one to push for the Green progress being driven by Environment Texas:

Honestly, looking back on it all, I guess I can see why some of them didn’t win. Though if I was running an organizations media department, rest assured that they all would be on TV. All the time. Especially that penguin, that penguin rocks.

Me and My New headshot

Originally uploaded by happyjoelmoss

I had an audition today for the first time in a very long and since the only headshot I had was a really old one of me clean-shaven with short hair, I thought I’d better freshen it up. My wife, who is excellent with a permanent marker, took care of the beard and hair and brought the whole Bee Gee’s look to life.

Then I went in and sang my song, “(feel the wrath of me) Adequate Penis.” It went pretty well. Usually these auditions have you read some shitty line that isn’t funny in the first place, AND that the people have heard 50 times already that day. So getting to talk about my penis for a full 3.5 minutes was really lovely.

Now I just have to wait and hear. If I end up on FOX television, I’ll let you know.

Stephen vs. Happyjoel

I’d totally embed the video but I don’t think I can, so feel free to click it. Here’s a couple fun trivia facts about the video:

1) I bought my first set of lights, so even though the sound totally needs work, I’m really happy with the lighting. You can actually see me unlike many of my other videos filmed previously.

2) I’m not wearing any pants. I do have pants. I even have pink pants that go with my pink suit, but I’m not wearing them.

There’s still 2 weeks left in the contest, so be sure to get your entries filmed and in soon by posting them as a response here:

My Car Can’t Get No Respect

So I wrote the jokes with my brother and sent them over. Prathap was awesome, cast 2 separate people in the role and had them audition, and then I chose the person you see here – Kirin – as the best one.

There were a couple jokes that didn’t quite translate so they got edited out. For example:

“I don’t get no respect – yesterday I had to tell a guy in Wyoming, “I’m sorry, I do not understand”  6 times before I could get him to hang up on me.”

Overall, I couldn’t be happier with their performance. The “Detroit” joke and the “no one wants to move my fat sister because they think she’s sacred” are by far my favorites.

Prathap & Happyjoel in front of Vidhansoudha in Bangalore, India

Originally uploaded by happyjoelmoss

So I have this online personal assistant, who I know I’ve mentioned before. His name is Prathap, and I use him for a lot of different things, most of which are to entertain me and have fun. I have him call my friends to ask how they’re doing, he and his team are working on a Rodney Dangerfield impersonation contest entry right now, and just recently, I asked him to print out pictures of my face and wander around Bangalore, India, carrying me with him and posing in front of some famous monuments.

First of all, he thinks I’m the greatest boss ever.

Second of all, he did a phenomenal job. This picture here is the two of us in front of Vidhansoudha, which is obviously beautiful. To see the whole collection of our travels in India together, just click:

Happyjoel and Prathap in Banaglore, India

Third, and most importantly, HOW DOPE IS THAT MUSTACHE?!

However, I had a lot of fun making it so I’ve decided to host my OWN video contest! A Rodney Dangerfield impersonation video contest.

First, watch the video I made. Then read the rules below.

You must submit a video of your best Rodney Dangerfield impersonation.

ALL THE JOKES MUST BE ORIGINAL! YOU CANNOT USE ANY OF RODNEYS OLD ROUTINE! Just jokes IN THE STYLE of Rodney Dangerfield.

Post YOUR video as a response to MY video by midnight October 4th, 2009. Winner announced Monday, October 5th. Here’s the link for my video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5Hm-UFvWtQ

1st PRIZE: $50 iTunes Gift Card

2nd PRIZE: $25 iTunes Gift Card

3RD Prize: My intern and I will call you and say hi.

Since it’s my own video contest, I’m finally going to run one the way I wish they all were run. The winner is to be determined by me and me alone. There is no time limit minimum or maximum. I am picking based solely on which one I think is the funniest. I don’t care about production value, I don’t care if it was filmed with a webcam, cell phone or HD CRX-500 or whatever the hell it is. NO age limit. Any Nationality. Just make it funny, make it watchable, and make it feel like Rodney.

I had the same reaction as my brother:

1) I wish they had actually showed some jokes of it, but that’s okay because it sounds like it’s worth checking out when they say “curse words.”

2) I am proud that my video is one the Chabad Rabbi doesn’t like. If it was one that he did like, I would be disappointed in myself. 

3) Jesus Christ do I want to punch the makers of “Matzah Man,” and “Who Let the Jews Out,” in the face.

Anyway, happy passover from a modern, moderate Islamic Nation on my last day in Istanbul.

Apparently the boob grab was too much for the Jim Beam people. I will put together another entry that involves less licking, more Jim Beam I suppose.

But as March begins, my head isn’t thinking only about new entries. No! I’m also focused on the fact that I am a finalist in the Solo Foods Contest! I need votes, and that means I need you. To vote.

Visit solofoods

Vote for “Almond Thumb Print Cookies”

Do it. Now. It’ll feel good and I could win a years supply of filling for cakes and cookies and pies and then I will have incentive to learn how to cook and/or bake and use filling appropriately (or inappropriately for other contests, as the case may be.)