No, the title doesn’t make sense, but here’s why it does:
In my efforts to survive on strictly contest and contest related winnings, I’m a little more free with my entry policies than I used to be. In the beginning, I only went after the really BIG contests. But, after winning the Nature Valley “Where’s Yours” contest, my 4th and largest contest win, I realized that every time I win another contest, it just makes the whole story that much funnier.
To that end, I’ve entered a lot of shitty contests. Most recently, I entered one for “Stirrings” mixers. Grand prize, a mere $3000. But I’ve got bills to pay (theoretically, at least.) So I went to DC, bought a bottle of Stirrings Mojito mix, and out to the National Mall to whore out the symbols of America to show what above and beyond effort looks like.
So first I head out with my buddies, we find a good parking spot at the mall, and I climb out of the back seat of the convertible. I forgot to also have my feet climb out, so I started to fall into the pavement.
Fortunately, I was holding a bottle of Stirring’s in my hand which I was able to use to break my fall.
Unfortunately, it meant I had to get a beach towel from the trunk to soak up all the bleeding.
Fortunately it wasn’t my towel.
So a trip to CVS, a few band aids, and a new bottle of Stirring’s later, I was back at the mall, where we took some phenomenal, inspirational pictures, the likes of which you see above.
I come home to LA. I make a 30 second video of the pictures while I hum “America the Beautiful,” in the background. Then I voice over about how, if George Washington was going to drink Pomegranate Martini’s, he’d want the fresh ingredients in Stirring’s. You know, for democracy.
It was classy, it was funny, and I was the first (and so far only) person to enter. So I headed to GeniusRocket (brilliant name for a website/company. I’m assuming they settled on that after “Fantasti-corp” was deemed to high brow) to post and try to win some cash.
So it goes up, it starts getting hits, and then 1 day later, with no reason or warning, it turns into this:
I write to all their customer service lines furiously, no response. It’s been going on for 2 days now. If they don’t fix it, I will be dropping out of the competition and just posting my video here. Because it’s that good.
PS, the Mojito’s themselves were gross.
PPS – if they fix the video and I have a chance at winning the contest again, I will be removing the “Mojito’s are Gross” comment.