Step 1: Purchase an amazing green tuxedo with felt lapels. (I already owned the shirt, cummerbund and REAL TIE BOWTIE WHICH I TOTALLY TIED MYSELF!)
Step 2: Learn how to tie a bow-tie from lucky levinson (not related)
Step 3: Cape. Find a costume shop going out of business and buy a phenomenal, satin, deep purple cape, which makes you feel like a count or some other royalty that spends his days sleeping and his nights agonizing over oven mitts at Crate & Barrel.
Step 4: Go to Crate & Barrel, which has a nice selection of oven mitts.
Step 5: Agonize.