That’s right, that’s me, Happyjoel. I didn’t realize how awesome the future was going to be until I had a glimpse of it, courtesy of a massive going-out-of-business sale at the local costume shop. Now I own this blue suit, which is not only stylish and extremely comfortable, but it’s also what everyone will be dressing like in the future.
The problem? Well, I needed to go get those stupid white kanye sunglasses that look like a pain to look out of, otherwise I would just be an embarrassment to time travelers everywhere. So I grabbed my bike and some cash to ride up to the boardwalk and purchase some, and instantly ran in to a problem – no fucking pockets. That’s right, there’s no pockets in the future, which is totally lame.
So I’m saying this right now – the onesies, comfortable. The monocolor, stylish. The loose hang of the garments, excellent. But the pockets. We’ve got to go retro in the future and bring back the pockets.